Our Christmas this year didn’t exactly start the way we had imagined …
For Christmas Eve we figured on spending a relaxing day together at home, making last-minute preparations, wrapping gifts, watching movies. We planned to go to church, with Phoebe in a beautiful red Christmas dress we’d bought her -- complete with a bow tied around her waist and a white sweater to go over her arms. Afterward, we were going to make our Christmas Eve feast, featuring my favorite -- steak.
None of that happened.
On Tuesday -- Dec. 23 -- Kates woke up feeling nauseous and looking pale … By mid-morning she was breaking for the bathroom and bent over the toilet at least once an hour. I quarantined her to the bedroom and put on my Super Daddy outfit; I would spend the rest of the day watching Phoebe and waiting on Kates.
Though she didn’t call for me much. She had no urge to eat. All she wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep. All things I would soon discover on my own …
Unable to leave Kates and Phoebe alone, I called my office -- I was scheduled to work that night -- and told my editor I was taking a sick day -- which really pained me to do. There were projects I was supposed to have finished before the holiday weekend, projects I had planned to finish Tuesday and Wednesday. I felt awful about being unable to go into work.
After putting Phoebe to bed, I went outside to clean the latest 4 or 5 inches of snow that had fallen that day, and I shoveled the rest of the snow I was too tired to deal with the weekend earlier. After that, I returned inside, got showered and settled in. I did some writing. And finally decided I should head to bed …
It was past 1 a.m. when I pulled some blankets from our chest and parked myself on the couch, thinking it was best I spend the night away from Kates and resist catching whatever she had …
I didn’t sleep well that night … And at around 6 a.m. Wednesday -- Christmas Eve -- I woke with a need to get to a bathroom. I started breaking for it, and halfway there it hit me -- I was going to throw up. Hurl. Blow chunks. Regurgitate, whatever you want to call it. I made two more trips in the next hour and a half and it was not pretty.
By 7, I’d called in sick to work for a second straight day. And at 7:30, with Phoebe rustling in her crib, I stumbled to our bedroom and gently woke Kates.
“How are you feeling?”
“OK,” she sighed.
“I’m sick,” I said, as Phoebe continued crying. “And somebody needs to take care of Phoebe.”
“I’m on it,” Kates said, springing out of bed like she’d been healthy the whole time.
Within minutes we had traded places. Now I was the one who would be lying in bed all day, and Kates would be taking care of Phoebe … My chest and neck ached and burned from my bouts in the bathroom. I couldn’t hold my head up for more than 30 seconds without feeling light-headed …
I spent the entire day sprawled out in bed. Falling to sleep in between an endless search for something to cheer me up on TV … I did catch a glimpse of “Love Actually,” one of my favorite movies of all -time -- I caught the ending, actually, which made me well up, of course, and forced one of the day’s few smiles on my face …
But eventually, I got so sick (… ha ha! Sick! Like I wasn’t sick enough already … ) of flipping channels and seeing commercials that I asked Kates to bring me some of my old VHS tapes. I watched “When It Was A Game,” and slept through much of it.
Finally, by 7, having been out of the bathroom for several hours now, my dimness started to lift. I was able to get on my laptop for a few minutes before my heavy head forced me back onto the pillows …
And then the “A Christmas Story” marathon began on TBS. I watched gleefully and made it through about an airing and a half before turning off the lights …
My food intake for the day: Three crackers and several glasses of water.
* * *
When Kates and I awoke on Thursday -- Christmas Day -- somehow we both felt as if Tuesday and Wednesday had never happened. We felt 100 percent better …
The “Christmas Story” marathon was turned on again, and we kept it on all day, throughout breakfast, our gift unwrapping and the packing for our weekend on the road. No matter how many times we’ve seen it, there was absolutely nothing more worthy or entertaining. That film is a classic on so many levels …
Kates made eggs for breakfast, and then we got on with our first Christmas celebration with Phoebe. … Though it was a subdued one. Our tight budget had a lot to do with that, along with her age. We had decided early on it was unnecessary to lavish her with toys and goodies when she’s too young to comprehend or remember the day. On top of that, she’s already got gobs of toys we received before and after she was born, some of which we’ve yet to introduce to her …
We did buy an adorable set of pajamas that we dressed her in -- a red suit with a Santa and reindeer and the words “My First Christmas” stitched over her chest … Kates and I also gave her a book -- “Quack Says the Duck!” -- which had been one of her favorite toys until we lost it somewhere in Midway Airport last month; so this was a replacement. Santa, meanwhile, brought her a colorful little learning phone that plays music, sings the ABCs and recites numbers …
The most fun came watching Phoebe open the gifts. As much as she loves playing with and ripping paper, we figured she would have no problem tearing open the wrapping paper. But she froze on Christmas Day, not really knowing what to do with the gifts and instead just turning them over in her hands … When we finally did open them for her, she went right for the tissue paper and started waving it in the air.Short and subdued, sure. But still so memorable.
* * *
After racing around the house on Christmas afternoon and trying to pack our suitcases and cooler for 3 ½ days on the road, we were off to our first family gathering with Kates’s extended family in Sheboygan … With several members of my mother’s family also living in Sheboygan, it’s a drive my family routinely made each Christmas while I was a child. And during Thursday’s drive I remarked how -- after so many residences and changes in my life -- surreal it was that after 29 years, I was still driving to Sheboygan on Christmas Day …
That night, our table was filled with tasty turkey and dressing and the smoothest sweet potatoes you’ve ever laid eyes on, among other goodies … Phoebe was the center of attention … At 90 years old, Grandma S. wowed us with her ability to recite a classic poem about a child’s Christmas stocking -- from memory … I got several books, Kates got a new pair of cooking skillets … The conversation and laughter was plentiful …We drove through a snowstorm late Thursday night to get to Kates’s parents’ suburban Milwaukee home and spent most of Friday, the 26th, lounging in our pajamas … Phoebe played on the floor … Kates’s dad and I went out and did battle with the post-Christmas shoppers, looking for deals at a classic record shop and a used book store … We tried to watch “Chariots of Fire” later that afternoon, but Phoebe was talking over most of it … We feasted on ribs for dinner and traded more gifts that evening … We capped off the night by watching “The Holiday,” which I loved; two thumps up!
On Saturday, we again took to the roads -- dangerously foggy roads -- and met the extended members of my mother’s family in another Milwaukee suburb … Controlled chaos is one way of describing these gatherings. With spouses, girlfriends and now babies coming into the fray, our already large family seems to grow exponentially each year … We got to see my parents, as well as Joel, Stephanie and Sophia -- who rightfully took some of the attention from Phoebe and dazzled the crowd with her somewhat focused wandering around the premises … Brett Favre and the Milwaukee Brewers dominated conversations … The spread on the table, as usual, included an array of cheeses, sausage, chips, veggies and dips … There’s so many people to see and catch up with, but too little time and space to do it.
Saturday night took us to my parents’ place in suburban Madison … We neglected the few gifts under the tree for as long as we could. These days we could almost do without them and would rather just soak up each other’s presence. All of us being together is rare nowadays … Phoebe and Sophia played together; actually Sophia kept stealing Phoebe’s toys, though Pheebs hardly seemed to notice or care. We conversed about our recent activities. And Millie the Dog pranced around us. For a few moments I caught myself soaking up the scene and its heart-warmth. I captured a short video of it for posterity.
After a good workout on the Wii Fit Sunday morning -- Joel beat me in the Homerun Derby, but I got my revenge in a tennis tournament -- and a family photo session, we headed to meet the extension of my father’s family … We visited Aunt Esther and introduced her to the girls, before heading to Grandma H’s … Since last December, four babies have joined the family, which also has a 2-year-old. Upon entering, one of my cousins surveyed the room and remarked, “Well things have changed a little bit since last Christmas, haven’t they!?” … Lunch included the trademark ham sandwiches and cheesy potatoes … We partook in our annual gift exchange, but added a twist this year: If you wanted to steal a gift you had to play Rock, Paper, Scissors for it. We came a way with a DVD of “The Karate Kid.” Nice … The afternoon was another case of too many people to catch up with and barely enough time or space to do it. Complicating matters, I was too focused on Phoebe, who hadn’t had her nap, and trying to keep her out of trouble … I was tired, too, and ready to be done with Christmas … We took part in the customary family photos in front of Grandma’s Christmas tree and then started the process of packing up, warming cars, putting coats on screaming babies and saying our good-byes …
Phoebe was asleep before we turned off of Grandma H’s street …
So the whirlwind of a Christmas breaks down like this …
Sick days: 2
Hours on the road: 8
Miles traveled: 400
Total number of people at gatherings (including family members, girlfriends, babies, babies still in the womb): 66
Dogs who joined the festivities: 6
Nights spent sleeping on futons: 3
Christmas gift exchanges: 6
Favorite gift: “Ben Folds Live” … on vinyl!
Toy phones Phoebe received: 2
Mountain Dew intake: Just one can … miraculously.
Memories: Priceless.
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