Not fair

… You don’t realize how important the Internet is in your daily work until, oh, it just shuts down all the live long day. Yep, no Internet in our office. None. Nada. Zilch … Good thing I had a lot of other things to work on that didn’t involve the Internet …

That, however, wasn’t as depressing as the fact that our little Pheebs went off to daycare for the first time today …

We don’t think we could’ve found a better person to care for her. And we know the socialization with other kids will be good for her. She’s been so content and laid back these first few months we know she’ll be just fine …

But it hardly seems fair. Shouldn’t it be that she doesn’t go out on her own until preschool or kindergarten? It doesn’t seem fair that we can’t raise her on our own, at least until she’s walking or out of diapers. She’s only four months old. We fear missing some of 'her firsts.'

This is the way it is now, though. We’re a family of two incomes, and we're barely surviving on that in these days of rising gas and food prices, a housing crisis and the threat of layoffs … Both of us need to earn an income. It doesn’t seem fair.

Last night, as we put Phoebe to bed, Kates and I embraced and gazed at her. It was easy to tell both of us were thinking the same thing, and I caught Kates welling up. It would be OK, I told her …

Today, it was OK. Kates and I left Phoebe with her new caretaker at about 8:30 this morning … Pulling out of the driveway and heading back home together we smiled briefly and began talking about our respective days without Phoebe. For a few moments we were just the two-person family we were before April 12. Then we separated and went off to our workplaces.

Meanwhile, word had it, Phoebe had a wonderful day playing and watching Barney with the other toddlers. Apparently a couple other girls there took a liking to her, too. And then she napped for most of the afternoon …

At the end of my work day, I was more excited than ever before to get home and see my girls …